I have to learn to trust my feelings: I am realizing that I am a better judge of character, than I give myself credit.

Paprika the Hamster

Tomorrow we are going to bring home Paprika, the class hamster, and take care of him over the week end. I volunteered for the job because I thought that the two budding zoologists Bro and Alfredo would be thrilled. Right. Today, after class I asked the teacher to make an introduction. Bro declared that Paprika is more like a mouse with long hair which could be dangerous and biting. Reality is that Paprika the hamster has been handled by so many kids that goes limp if you pick him up.
Bro has been quite fearful of dogs, but a hamster is to a dog like a chimp to a Sasquatch.
Of course Alfredo has been supporting his phobic brother.
"Paprika sleeps outside" "but if he stays outside our cats will eat him, do you want Paprika to be eaten?" "yech!" (and Alfredo nods).
More horrifying scenarios are being discussed: the hamster gets loose and crawls in bed with Bro! (although this would give him an excuse to sleep with us... but wait he *already* does so most nights even sans rodent!).
So tonight before starting reading books, I poked fun to the fantastic duo: "don't you want cuddle a cute little hamster?" "no! no!" followed by a bit of giggles. I am laying down between their two beds, and Alfredo makes his move: climbs and straddles my belly. He looks at me with sheer delight and... farts! I push him on his bed and start tickling both of them. "That's it! guys, I am going to get a puppy!... Think about a cute puppy chewing your toes!" "no! no!" and Bro blurbs, while laughing: "we already have two cats!"

The world according to Moon

Moon is an incredibly sweet and funny child.
I want to record his latest for posterity purposes:

- I get to school to pick him up a few minutes early. All the kids are playing hop scotch outside the classroom (It is a Friday, after all). It's Moon's turn and he does pretty good. He comes to me, with a sparkle in his eyes, takes a deep bow while saying: "Thank you very much!".

- Today at FC, Moon takes a ball and hides it under his shirt. His buddy A, looks at him and says: "wow! you have a big belly"; Moon: "No I have a baby"; A, quite amused: "A baby?! how are you going to name it?"; Moon: "Moon junior".

- Tonight laying down in bed with his Dad, deep into thought, with his very serious low voice: "When a boy becomes a man, he grows hair everywhere, and makes horrible gas"; Black: "Where?"; Moon: "At the gas station". (!!!!)

Mood rollercoster

Feeling up and down lately.
Yesterday, the boys damage something that my father left me and I got really pissed at them. The very good thing is that Moon came up with all sort of great language to let me know that it was not his fault but his brother's. And when his brother confessed he smiled and said: "See? You are now in trouble!".
Today I feel better.
I spent a very mellow morning with Moon sick at home, him laying down and watching tv, my working.

Perhaps it is the looming economical Armageddon, and work not coming in, perhaps it is me getting sick, perhaps it is that attending and preparing two IEPs in a week is a bit much for *even* me (the one who logged 12 IEPs in one academic year). Perhaps it is finding out that Alfredo has lost 20%percentile in comprehension since last year as measured by the Preschool Language Test 4. Perhaps it is that we will have to fight to get ot services, when the child just turned 5 and still is holding his crayon with a fist. Perhaps it is listening how much Little Bro fine motor skills are delayed (he cannot write his name B-R-O, although it was one of his goals), actually he has made no progress in one year and yet receiving only 60 minutes of ot a MONTH, in a GROUP with other 4 kids.

ride the bike

today Moon rode his bike without training wheels.

I finally wrote to Bro and Alfredo special ed teacher A regarding how surprisingly difficult was for the both of them to do a preschool workbook.
They both had trouble grasping concept of pattern, matching and other reasoning skills that they should be able to grasp at age 5.
The day I worked with them and found out I could barely breath.
It took me a week to write the email because I knew that this may start another struggle for services. I procrastinated, and I was right, from the teacher reply, it will be a struggle, as it has been for the past 2 years, with me saying the my kids are not typical, and all the "educators" looking at me like I am insane. During one of their first IEPs they told me that by age 5 they would have caught up, that they have seen it before. Well, they are five, but yet to catch up. And me still feeling like I need to convince them that they do need support and help.
I feel depressed and exhausted already.
We decided to have Bro privately evaluated, but now feels that we should have had Alfredo.
With limited resources of money, time, energy to go around, how can one make that decision? How can we determine to give what to whom?
How do you make that decision?

Having all my three children with special needs feels a bit much, at the current moment.

Art class

I came from a family of artists, graphic designers, drafters. A family where fine motor skills are never really mentioned, just taken for granted, because they are there aplenty.
I spent most of childhood drawing, and my high school years at an art school, I am still in the biz.
Having children that are challenged just even at holding a pencil is what I think of as sour sweet.
Bro and Fettuccine, will soon turn 5 and they are having trouble drawing basic shapes and writing their names. Moon has made huge progress, but still his drawings are very rudimentary. Nevertheless I decided, that dammit, art will come to them if the boys will not go to art. I enrolled Moon to an "Art club" after school. Parents participation is welcome, ahem, I am my own child's aide.
I decided I didn't have to go and talk to the teacher ahead of time about Moon, I figured, that we're going to be meeting only one or twice a month for one hour, then, I'll be there, so why loose sleep in trying to come out the right words to introduce him? "Hi, we are here!" should do the trick.
The teacher seems to be a smart woman, she will figure it all out. And I am sure it really didn't take much, perhaps it was Moon walking around, flaying his arms, loudly talking to himself. Or perhaps it was when Moon started making loud remarks about how "boring" was her class, or when he created a make-shift geyser of soap and water in one of the classroom sinks.
But really who cares, "quirky is a lifestyle" is my new Mantra.
I personally had a phenomenal time, chatting with Moon, while he was drawing, about shapes, and colors, and getting really excited that this year he can color within the lines (that is so cool).
His drawing was also really beautiful. Inspired by Marc Chagall he made a "dream" composition, light blue sky, a house in a corner, the picture of himself as an ant, a train, a tree, the sun and the moon.
He was all business: while all the other kids were chatting with one another, he was powering through it.
At the end I think he had fun. At least I hope, because, for once, I am sharing with him one of my great loves, and not the other way around.